New York, New York

What do Ethiopia and New York have in common?  They both have taxi drivers who go ‘Ah, Holland? Ruud ven Nistelroooi, Frenk dé Buuur, Robin ven Persiieee’ . What do New York and Amsterdam have in common? They both have taxi drivers who shout in Arabic in their phone whilst driving.

I know the Dutch are the tallest people in the world, but I’m only 5’10. So how come my feet stick out of what the Americans call a ‘full size bed’?

‘Hey, we’re Verizon, the biggest cell phone company in the US. We don’t use SIM cards, that’s something for Europeans, so no you can’t use your own phone, you’ll have to buy our phone. Oh, and you have to pay to receive a call, and to receive a text message. And yes, by chance we’re also the biggest assholes in the US.’

I don’t want you to ask how I am. I want you to take my order and make my goddamn coffee!

Two fried eggs with bacon, unlimited coffee and some fries for breakfast – five dollars. One, yes one jar of peanut butter – six dollars. American Logic – priceless. (voor de rest, Eurocard / Mastercard)

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